Do I want to see God at work? Do I want to glorify God with my time? Do I want to have a part in a miracle? Then all I have to do is whatever he tells me to do!
My first response to hearing that was FEAR. I wanted to put my fingers in my ears and say, "Na, na, na, I can't hear you God!" Or I wanted to turn on the TV or busy myself so that I can't hear his voice. Then I thought about it. The times when I have obeyed him in the past it has brought joy and peace (even if it was something hard). So I took my fingers out of my ears, wrote the verse on the plate in my entryway, and said "Okay, what do you want me to do? I know I need to do things like take care of my home, spend time with my kids, and love my husband. Those are 'givens'. What ELSE do you want me to do Lord?"
The answer came last night. While the guys had a night out, Audra and I had some mother/daughter time.... at grief group. She was not excited about going, but I promised her that she would get to do art there. We went and met other families who have lost a child to cancer. I enjoy being around other families who have been through what we've been through. There is comfort just in knowing that you are not the only one. But I was sad that there was no mention of God (other than the meditation time when we were encouraged to pray to God, the universe, or "whatever".) You've read my journal and you know the comfort and the strength and the HOPE that I have received because of Jesus and because of what he suffered and the promise that this is not all there is. I can't imagine grieving without HOPE, but people do. And other people try to make you feel better by saying nice things and thinking nice thoughts and doing art projects, but to me it's like clinging to a spider web for support. It's nice, but it doesn't help very much. So last night I went to bed sad for those who were grieving without hope. During the night, God woke me up several times and brought to my mind the words "You give them something to eat." When I got up, I looked up the context of that verse. It's from the 14th chapter of Matthew.
When Jesus landed and saw a large crowd, he had compassion on them because they were like sheep without a shepherd. So he began teaching them many things....His disciples told him to send the people away so that they could get something to eat.
But he answered, "You give them something to eat."Of course the disciples couldn't do that on their own, but they brought what they had to Jesus and he blessed it and fed 5,000.
In John 21:17 Jesus tells Peter, "Do you love me? Feed my sheep."
In John 6:35 Jesus says , "I am the bread of life. He who comes to me will never go hungry, and he who believes in me will never be thirsty."
Lord help me give these people something to eat. May they taste and see that you are good (Psalm 34:8).