Saturday, November 24, 2012

Five years

Five years ago today I was holding my daughter while she died.  
I don't want to remember.
I don't want to forget.
It felt like I was in labor. 
Hours and hours of painful waiting.
Holding her in our bed.
My other children coming in to say goodbye.
Kissing her over and over.
Whispering love in her ear.
Crying out to God.
"I can't do this!"
Not believing that it was really happening.
Waiting for a miracle.
Waiting for death.
When it finally came there was sweet release.
It is finished.
Birthed from this life to the next.
For her
For me
Learning to live without a part of myself was hard.
Is hard.
Do not focus on what is seen, but on what is unseen.  
What is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal. 
Today I wait with hope.
I press on with perseverance.
I laugh.
I love.
I live.

And I remember.

(2Corinthians 4:18)


Reba said...

Hugs to you. I still remember that day (from afar) and cannot imagine the emotions and thoughts you faced that day. Praying for God's peace and presence each and every day until you meet again.

Liz said...

I remember that day. I remember posting on my blog that day for people to pray for you. I remember "knowing" Anna from afar during that time. She was a precious baby girl. I won't ever forget the impact on my life. Thank you for sharing her with us.

MaryDelafieldCMC said...

Marlo, we remember Anna and will honor her memory this week with the life saving gift of a blood donation at the Anna Salamy memorial Blood Drive. Thanks for your transparency, can't even pretend to know what you are feeling.

When I had my first, I read in some book that the choice to have a child is the choice to let a part of your heart walk around outside your body. So true....

Mary Delafield