The other day a friend of mine was telling me about her dad's tombstone. Her dad is still alive, but his stone is already in place with his name and birthday engraved. All that is left to do is add the date of his death. At first I thought that was kind of creepy, but then I realized that we would all do well to have a physical reminder that our days are numbered. Psalm 90:12 says, "Teach us to number our days, that we may gain a heart of wisdom." Why would we need to be taught to number our days? Because we tend to live like we will never die--especially when we are young. How many more days do I have on this earth? 10,000? 1,000? 100? 1?
Today is Ash Wednesday. This morning in Catholic churches all over the world priests dipped their thumbs into ashes and made a mark on each parishioner's forehead saying, "Remember that thou art dust, and to dust thou shall return." It's a yearly reminder that this life on earth is temporary (and it's cheaper than having a marble stone engraved.)
Today also marks the start of the Lenten Season. It's a 40 day period of repentance, preparation, reflection, discipline, self-denial, and reevaluation before Easter. I'm not Catholic so it's not something I grew up doing, but something that I have chosen to do as an adult. I think we miss out if we only celebrate Palm Sunday and Easter without walking through the darkness of Maundy Thursday and Good Friday. Lent is a time to acknowledge the sacrifice that was made for us by making a sacrifice of our own. It's also a time to add something to our lives that will draw us closer to God.
Does your Easter preparation only involve shopping for new clothes and filling plastic eggs with candy or does it include reflection, sacrifice, and service?
When you wake up on Resurrection Sunday 40 days from now, will you be any different than you are today? Why not?
Wednesday, February 22, 2012
Wednesday, February 8, 2012
Still thankful after all these months...
I am pressing on to finish my list of 1,000 things I'm thankful for before my birthday in April. I hope you are still working on your lists.
802. Touch screen Coke machines (if you haven't seen one yet, they are SO cool)
805. Popcorn with milk duds (these taste best when eaten at the movie theater)
806. Free refills at Chic Fil A (I especially love the lady who comes to my table and gets my cup and brings it back full)
810. A sunrise on the beach
821. Laughing so hard your stomach hurts (doesn't happen often enough)
827. Planning a party
830. A blanket of darkness covering our sleep (so thankful that God turns out the lights and says "Rest")
831. Feeling lonely and friendless and wanting to go "home" (I hate it when I feel this way, but I try to be thankful because it reminds me that this world is not my home and it forces me reach out to different people.)
835. Milk and Twinkies at midnight
847. Kids big enough to help (and especially a daughter who will do dishes for as long as she has music to sing to)
848. A new mom at Mom's In Prayer (love this group of women who get together each Friday to pray for their kids)
849. Praying for Audra's future husband and his parents (Did you know that you can do that????)
850. Father/daughter dances
854. A de-cluttered closet
857. Remembering to slow down
858. My first time to make a chicken pot pie
863. Learning something new
877. Snuggling on the couch between Richard and Will
880. Lemonade stands in February
885. A chocolate cherry fudge cake waiting for company (If you are feeling lonely, invite someone over for dinner.)
887. Butterfly bananas
Friday, February 3, 2012
Made Perfect
Hebrews 2:10 says that Jesus was made perfect through suffering. What does that mean? And, if I am supposed to be conformed to the image of Christ, am I made perfect through suffering?
As I was trying to understand this, I thought of Baby. Anna received Baby on her 1st birthday. She was just one of many presents. Nothing special. She cost $3 at Walmart. Today Baby resides in my dresser drawer, but for 4 1/2 years she was my daughter's constant companion. When your child is admitted to the hospital you have to fill out a lot of forms. One of them always asks the question, "What does your child need for security?" I always wrote, "Me and Baby." I wasn't always there, but Baby was. (Except the time we left her at the library or the times she was hidden under the covers and we had to frantically search for her.)
Because we were afraid of losing her or having her fall apart, we tried several times to replace Baby. I even found a doll exactly like her that soon became known as "Baby's sister." The other dolls weren't good enough. They weren't Baby.
This week I bought another $3 doll at Walmart just to compare her to Baby. The new doll comes with a bottle, and toys all packaged in a shiny plastic pink backpack. Her clothes are clean. She is wearing a hat. Her skin is smooth and unmarked.
She's perfect.
Baby's hair is matted from being twirled around Anna's fingers over and over and over again. She sports patches on her neck and arm--sewed on by a kind nurse who specialized in fixing dolls as well as little girls. Her clothes are nubby and worn from repeated washings. Her skin is mottled and there are pen marks in her ear. Her thumb sports chew marks from when our dog was a puppy. There's a hole near the top of her right leg. The hat she came with is long gone.
She's perfect.
If you ask me what the two dolls are worth, I would tell you that the one in the package is worth the price I paid, $3. Baby on the other hand is priceless. The one in the package will be given away or end up in a garage sale or returned to the store. Baby is one of those things I would grab if my house was on fire. She is that valuable--not because she looks perfect, but because she was made perfect through love, through suffering, through time. Jesus was perfect when he came to earth--he was God. Then he was made perfect through suffering.
You see, there is more than one way to be perfect. You can be without flaws or you can perfectly fit the need in a certain situation or for a certain purpose. Baby has flaws, but she was exactly what Anna needed. Jesus was without flaws and he fit the need for a certain purpose.
Our goal in life is not to be like the new doll and stay in the box. That's not the kind of perfect that Jesus modeled. To be like him, we must learn to stand firm in the midst of suffering. To be like him we must be willing to be broken. How much is untested faith worth? About the same as a perfect doll sealed in a plastic wrapper. In this life you will have problems/trials/tribulations, but trust in the one who got out of the box and came to be tempted just as we are, suffer just as we suffer, and was made perfect--just as we are made perfect through faith in Him. Some people may look at your scars and your brokenness and see nothing of value. But God looks at you who have pressed on through the storms of life and stood firm through the testing of your faith and sees perfection.
So your goal is not to avoid being broken. Your goal is to be made useful, complete, beautiful, and perfect in the hands of the One who holds you.
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As I was trying to understand this, I thought of Baby. Anna received Baby on her 1st birthday. She was just one of many presents. Nothing special. She cost $3 at Walmart. Today Baby resides in my dresser drawer, but for 4 1/2 years she was my daughter's constant companion. When your child is admitted to the hospital you have to fill out a lot of forms. One of them always asks the question, "What does your child need for security?" I always wrote, "Me and Baby." I wasn't always there, but Baby was. (Except the time we left her at the library or the times she was hidden under the covers and we had to frantically search for her.)
Because we were afraid of losing her or having her fall apart, we tried several times to replace Baby. I even found a doll exactly like her that soon became known as "Baby's sister." The other dolls weren't good enough. They weren't Baby.
This week I bought another $3 doll at Walmart just to compare her to Baby. The new doll comes with a bottle, and toys all packaged in a shiny plastic pink backpack. Her clothes are clean. She is wearing a hat. Her skin is smooth and unmarked.
She's perfect.
Baby's hair is matted from being twirled around Anna's fingers over and over and over again. She sports patches on her neck and arm--sewed on by a kind nurse who specialized in fixing dolls as well as little girls. Her clothes are nubby and worn from repeated washings. Her skin is mottled and there are pen marks in her ear. Her thumb sports chew marks from when our dog was a puppy. There's a hole near the top of her right leg. The hat she came with is long gone.
She's perfect.
If you ask me what the two dolls are worth, I would tell you that the one in the package is worth the price I paid, $3. Baby on the other hand is priceless. The one in the package will be given away or end up in a garage sale or returned to the store. Baby is one of those things I would grab if my house was on fire. She is that valuable--not because she looks perfect, but because she was made perfect through love, through suffering, through time. Jesus was perfect when he came to earth--he was God. Then he was made perfect through suffering.
You see, there is more than one way to be perfect. You can be without flaws or you can perfectly fit the need in a certain situation or for a certain purpose. Baby has flaws, but she was exactly what Anna needed. Jesus was without flaws and he fit the need for a certain purpose.
Our goal in life is not to be like the new doll and stay in the box. That's not the kind of perfect that Jesus modeled. To be like him, we must learn to stand firm in the midst of suffering. To be like him we must be willing to be broken. How much is untested faith worth? About the same as a perfect doll sealed in a plastic wrapper. In this life you will have problems/trials/tribulations, but trust in the one who got out of the box and came to be tempted just as we are, suffer just as we suffer, and was made perfect--just as we are made perfect through faith in Him. Some people may look at your scars and your brokenness and see nothing of value. But God looks at you who have pressed on through the storms of life and stood firm through the testing of your faith and sees perfection.
So your goal is not to avoid being broken. Your goal is to be made useful, complete, beautiful, and perfect in the hands of the One who holds you.
.jpg)
"I got Baby on my first birthday. I always holded her by the hair. But now she's not very pretty like she was when we first got her. Now she's sort of messed up and not very pretty anymore. But she's still special to me. She goes wherever I go and she's still good. I still love her and she's always the best doll that I've ever had." (Quote from Anna, 4/26/2007)
Friday, January 27, 2012
The Gift of Forgiveness
Lord, do I have to write about that? It's so embarrassing and it makes me look bad. Can't you give me something else to write... Nothing? Okay, here goes...
God taught me a lesson last week about forgiveness. One of the great calling cards of Christendom has always been, "Come to Jesus and find forgiveness of sin." Hmmm...that's nice, but I think I'll come to Jesus for comfort and guidance. I don't really have a big need for forgiveness. I mean, it's nice that he died for my sins and all, but wasn't that a little extreme? Did I really need that?
If you've never felt guilty then you probably have wondered why God made such a big deal over having Jesus take the punishment for your sins. I remember as a kid being taught that I should pray prayers of confession. So I would try to think of something to confess. Sometimes I would just mutter the standby phrase "forgive me when I fail Thee." I figured that would cover whatever it was that I had done, but didn't really feel guilty about. I certainly never felt like I deserved death which is what the Bible says is the wages of sin. That was until one day when I saw myself the way God sees me....ugh! I could fool others and even fool myself, but I wasn't fooling God. He saw my heart and it wasn't pretty. After that revelation, I learned to appreciate the gift of forgiveness. But something happened recently that reminded me again of how HUGE it is to be guilt free.
Last week I heard that our friend Betty was dying. Even though I hadn't seen her in months, I thought I should do something to help. I offered to do anything that was needed and her husband graciously invited me to vacuum. I approached their house with a bit of fear and trembling, but they were gracious and kind. Matt showed me how to use the fancy vacuum system and then went upstairs to take care of Betty. I thought I should dust before I vacuumed so I started with the mantle. I picked up a picture, took one swipe...and knocked a little bird to the floor... oh no.
I was there to help and to be a comfort and I broke something. I didn't know what to do. I didn't want to bother them. I didn't want to upset them. I didn't want to add anything to what they were already dealing with. But I think most of all, I didn't want them to regret letting me come over.
So I put the little bird and its beak on a shelf... in the closet... and closed the door. I hid my sin.
Maybe I thought I would find some glue while I was cleaning and I could fix it. Or maybe I thought that no one would ever find it there and that someday I could bring some glue when I came back. Or maybe I thought it would just go away. Whatever I was thinking, it was wrong. You can hide your mistakes and your broken pieces from the rest of the world, but they don't go away and what you are left with is guilt.
I finished cleaning the house and had a wonderful visit with our friends, but it was tainted by guilt. I KNEW that I wasn't as great as other people thought I was. I knew I wasn't as great as I thought I was. The longer I kept my secret, the bigger it became until it was HUGE in my mind. I knew that they would think I was a terrible person--not just for breaking something, accidents happen--but for HIDING it. I couldn't even tell Richard what I had done because I was so ashamed.
SHAME.
GUILT.
Have you ever felt those things? Do you feel those things today when you think about the broken pieces you have hidden in your closet? Did you know you can be free from those chains? Do you know how? I knew what I had to do. I admitted my guilt via email. Whew! Just the confession felt good, but would I be forgiven?
Here is the response I got...
God taught me a lesson last week about forgiveness. One of the great calling cards of Christendom has always been, "Come to Jesus and find forgiveness of sin." Hmmm...that's nice, but I think I'll come to Jesus for comfort and guidance. I don't really have a big need for forgiveness. I mean, it's nice that he died for my sins and all, but wasn't that a little extreme? Did I really need that?
If you've never felt guilty then you probably have wondered why God made such a big deal over having Jesus take the punishment for your sins. I remember as a kid being taught that I should pray prayers of confession. So I would try to think of something to confess. Sometimes I would just mutter the standby phrase "forgive me when I fail Thee." I figured that would cover whatever it was that I had done, but didn't really feel guilty about. I certainly never felt like I deserved death which is what the Bible says is the wages of sin. That was until one day when I saw myself the way God sees me....ugh! I could fool others and even fool myself, but I wasn't fooling God. He saw my heart and it wasn't pretty. After that revelation, I learned to appreciate the gift of forgiveness. But something happened recently that reminded me again of how HUGE it is to be guilt free.
Last week I heard that our friend Betty was dying. Even though I hadn't seen her in months, I thought I should do something to help. I offered to do anything that was needed and her husband graciously invited me to vacuum. I approached their house with a bit of fear and trembling, but they were gracious and kind. Matt showed me how to use the fancy vacuum system and then went upstairs to take care of Betty. I thought I should dust before I vacuumed so I started with the mantle. I picked up a picture, took one swipe...and knocked a little bird to the floor... oh no.
I was there to help and to be a comfort and I broke something. I didn't know what to do. I didn't want to bother them. I didn't want to upset them. I didn't want to add anything to what they were already dealing with. But I think most of all, I didn't want them to regret letting me come over.
So I put the little bird and its beak on a shelf... in the closet... and closed the door. I hid my sin.
Maybe I thought I would find some glue while I was cleaning and I could fix it. Or maybe I thought that no one would ever find it there and that someday I could bring some glue when I came back. Or maybe I thought it would just go away. Whatever I was thinking, it was wrong. You can hide your mistakes and your broken pieces from the rest of the world, but they don't go away and what you are left with is guilt.
I finished cleaning the house and had a wonderful visit with our friends, but it was tainted by guilt. I KNEW that I wasn't as great as other people thought I was. I knew I wasn't as great as I thought I was. The longer I kept my secret, the bigger it became until it was HUGE in my mind. I knew that they would think I was a terrible person--not just for breaking something, accidents happen--but for HIDING it. I couldn't even tell Richard what I had done because I was so ashamed.
SHAME.
GUILT.
Have you ever felt those things? Do you feel those things today when you think about the broken pieces you have hidden in your closet? Did you know you can be free from those chains? Do you know how? I knew what I had to do. I admitted my guilt via email. Whew! Just the confession felt good, but would I be forgiven?
Here is the response I got...
Dear Marlo
Please do not be concerned about the bird. I completely understand, and we do not place any real value on things. I will glue it and no one other than you and me and God will ever know :-) You blessed our socks off! I am so sorry that you spent even a few moments burdened by this. Please do not think of it further. That kind of thing happens fairly often when we have groups over, it is part of the joy of sharing His home... We love you and are so blessed to know and enjoy being with you--so if you want to come back please do! No need to bring glue :-)
Matt
Oh blessed forgiveness. What a gift we have that we can approach the throne of a holy God with pure hearts--not because we have never sinned, but because we have been forgiven. If you bring them to him, God can take those broken pieces that you have hidden away and make them into something beautiful--something that he can use.
I know because that's what he did for me.
Wednesday, January 18, 2012
One Day at a Time
This weekend Audra got out the baby books. They brought back memories of a happy time in my life. I loved when my kids were little. I loved being able to put them all in the bathtub together. I loved laying next to them while they fell asleep. I loved carrying them on my hip.
But those days are gone.
Today they take showers--long showers by themselves. Today I get a goodnight kiss, but no one needs me to stay in their room to ward off the bad guys. Today they are too big to be carried.
I started reading Jacob's book and all of the cute things that he used to do and say. For example, when he was 4 we saw a funeral procession. I was driving so I pulled the car over and explained what was going on. When I pointed out the hearse that was carrying the body of the person who had died, Jacob said, "Why didn't that person go to heaven?" I told him that when you die, your body doesn't go to heaven. He thought about that for a minute and then exclaimed, "You mean just your HEAD goes?!" Smile.
I haven't written in his book in a long time, because burping and playing loud music isn't as "cute" as shooting pretend arrows with a clothes hanger while wearing underoos and cowboy boots. But as I was watching Jacob sit on the couch and play his banjo, I thought, "This is a happy time too."
How did we go from playing with a flyswatter to playing a banjo?
From wearing a super hero cape to wearing skinny jeans?
From playing in the dirt to photography?
From eating "kie-coos" (cookies) to making crepes?
How did it happen? It seems like a long time ago and yet seems like it was yesterday. All of those years, and all of those changes--from baby, to boy, to teenager--happened one day at a time. I realized as I watched him that today was going to pass into tomorrow and into the day after that and into next year and then one day he would be a grown man.
One day at a time.
So I am determined not to spend my time missing the boy he was, but enjoying the young man that he is. Because tomorrow he will be different--maybe not enough so that I can see it--but not the same as he is today.
Lord, our lives are made up of years and our years are made up of days. Each day is important. Each day is a gift. Help me to make the most of this day.
But those days are gone.
Today they take showers--long showers by themselves. Today I get a goodnight kiss, but no one needs me to stay in their room to ward off the bad guys. Today they are too big to be carried.
I started reading Jacob's book and all of the cute things that he used to do and say. For example, when he was 4 we saw a funeral procession. I was driving so I pulled the car over and explained what was going on. When I pointed out the hearse that was carrying the body of the person who had died, Jacob said, "Why didn't that person go to heaven?" I told him that when you die, your body doesn't go to heaven. He thought about that for a minute and then exclaimed, "You mean just your HEAD goes?!" Smile.
I haven't written in his book in a long time, because burping and playing loud music isn't as "cute" as shooting pretend arrows with a clothes hanger while wearing underoos and cowboy boots. But as I was watching Jacob sit on the couch and play his banjo, I thought, "This is a happy time too."
How did we go from playing with a flyswatter to playing a banjo?
From wearing a super hero cape to wearing skinny jeans?
From playing in the dirt to photography?
From eating "kie-coos" (cookies) to making crepes?
How did it happen? It seems like a long time ago and yet seems like it was yesterday. All of those years, and all of those changes--from baby, to boy, to teenager--happened one day at a time. I realized as I watched him that today was going to pass into tomorrow and into the day after that and into next year and then one day he would be a grown man.
One day at a time.
So I am determined not to spend my time missing the boy he was, but enjoying the young man that he is. Because tomorrow he will be different--maybe not enough so that I can see it--but not the same as he is today.
Wednesday, January 11, 2012
Tuesday, January 3, 2012
I wasn't dreaming of a white Christmas
Early Christmas morning I woke up
after having a very vivid dream.
In the dream, I was at a crowded event waiting to hear a speaker when I
looked out a large window and saw lightning in the distance. It wasn’t normal lightning. It was coming straight down from the
sky to the earth--again and again.
I rushed to the window with several others to see what was going
on. As I kept watching, I saw tall
buildings start collapsing. At one
point I was close enough to see the faces of two women who were being crushed
between two buildings that had fallen towards each other. All I could do was watch.
Then I woke up.
It was a strange dream to have on
Christmas morning, but I probably wouldn’t have thought much about it except
for what happened next. After my shower,
I opened my One Year Bible to the daily reading for December 25. It included Revelation chapter 16 which
says in part,
“Then the seventh angel poured
out his bowl into the air. And a
mighty shout came from the throne in the temple saying, ‘It is finished!’ Then the thunder crashed and rolled, and
lightning flashed. And a great earthquake struck—the worst
since people were placed on the earth.
The great city of Babylon split into three sections and the cities of
many nations fell into heaps of rubble.”
I know it sounds crazy, but I saw
it and then I read it. I
dressed quickly and went downstairs to tell Richard what had happened. Death and destruction are not your typical Christmas conversations. We had presents to open, a ham to cook, and fun things
to do. Besides, the sky was clear
and the ground was steady so I after telling Richard, I just wrote everything down in my journal.
The next day when I had time to
think about what had happened, I wrote this,
“Wow God! You let me see that
before I read it—the lightning and the buildings falling. It’s a vivid reminder that we will have
to face your wrath someday. You
will not let sin go unpunished. Show
me how to help those women in my dream before the end comes and it’s too late.”
I’m not a prophet. I don’t claim to know when the end of
the world will come. I don’t even anticipate
it happening in my lifetime. But I
do know that an end WILL come.
Everything we can see is temporary. It is all passing away.
What is seen is temporary. What is unseen is eternal. (2
Corinthians 4:18)
This earth will not last
forever. It will wear out just
like my favorite jeans, but Jesus Christ remains the same yesterday, today, and
forever (Hebrews 13:8).
The earth will wear out like a
garment and its inhabitants die like flies. But my salvation will last forever, my righteousness will
never fail. (Isaiah 51:6)
You (Lord) will roll (the
heavens) up like a robe; like a garment they will be changed. But you remain the same and your years
will never end. (Hebrews 1:12)
(Heaven and earth) will all
wear out like a garment. Like
clothing you (Lord) will change them and they will be discarded. But you remain the same, and your years
will never end. (Psalm 102:26-27)
So where am I going to place my faith?
In my house that is falling apart?
In my bank account that is dwindling?
In my husband and children who are mortal?
In my friends who come and go?
What is there in this world that I can cling to when
everything is falling apart?
Nothing.
Nothing in this world.
There is only One who never fails.
Only One who never changes.
Only One who never ends.
On Christ the solid rock I stand all other ground is
sinking sand.
And maybe… just maybe, God showed me what he did so that I
would tell you that.
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