The cure for what ails you...

Feeling down?  Give thanks.
Feeling prideful?  Give thanks.
Feeling jealous?  Give thanks.
Feeling lonely?  Give thanks.

Don't underestimate the power of thanksgiving!

Are you still counting?  I am up to 1,660.  These are a few of my recent blessings...

A free bunny rabbit
Singing praises with the residents at Madison House
Meeting a blind Nepali with a heart for God and for her people
Jacob getting a part in West Side Story
The whole family singing the Jet song while riding in the car
A good cry
Our annual game night with friends
Richard cleaning up after the game night before I came downstairs the next morning
Belly laughs
Candy bar cake
Free Starbucks
Audra wearing my mom's 60 year old dress
Legs to walk
Someone to walk with
Snuggling up with blankets and beanbags in front of the fire
Quiet mornings
Sunrises over snowfalls
A God who never sleeps, who watches over me while I do
Letters from a nine year old girl in Ecuador
Sending invitations
Two hour Moms in Prayer meetings
A sympathy card from the vet
Talking to Will about right and wrong; hearing that he has done the right thing
Standing on the porch in the rain drinking hot tea
Eating outside at Carytown Burgers in January
Second chances

From his abundance we have all received one gracious blessing after another. John 1:16

You can't always get what you want

Valentines Day is overrated.
For the last nine years, we have spent this day in the hospital or at home with a sick kid.  Whose idea was it to put a romantic holiday in the middle of cold and flu season?  Today no one was physically sick, just grumpy.  And grumpiness is contagious.  Tonight after a dismal attempt at a dinner date, I ended up leaving the restaurant in tears.  The pressure had been building all day, but the back breaking straw was Richard pointing out that he dreads gift giving holidays (which may explain why Thanksgiving and Easter are his favorites.)  Apparently I don't receive gifts well.  I always knew that my sister was more fun to give to because she always gets excited and cries at everything, but I didn't realize that I was impossible to buy for.  At Christmas, after giving me a personal pie maker and seeing my reaction (or lack thereof), my friend commented, "You are hard to impress."  Then tonight Richard tells me how he can never find a gift that "touches my heart."  We've had versions of this conversation before and I always promise myself to act more excited next time.
Try giving me something and watch my reaction.  You will get a forced half-smile and a "thanks so much," before I set it aside.  It's true.  I am no fun to buy for.
The night went downhill from there as we drove home and started talking about the video of our Valentines Day breakfast in 2005.  While filming the kids opening their gifts, you can hear me saying, "Anna is sleeping in because she doesn't feel good this morning.  We'll let her open her gifts later."  It was before we ever heard the word CANCER.  Blissfully ignorant.
As I thought about Anna, I burst out in tears again, "I wonder if I liked presents before she died?"
And then I got it.
That's why I am so "hard to impress."
That's why nothing I get ever "touches my heart."
That's why everything  I get feels like "stuff."
It's because I never get what I really want.
It's because I can't.
Not in this life.
Because what is seen is temporary and I long for the eternal.

Why? How?

My mind and heart can't grasp the horror of what happend in Connecticut yesterday.  I know what it's like to lose a kindergartener, but I don't know what it's like to not be able to say goodbye.  I understand the evil of cancer.  I don't understand the evil in the hearts of men.  The numbness is a coping mechanism I suppose.  How else would I be able to go to the grocery store with visions of children being gunned down running through my head?  How else would I be able to cross things off my 'to do' list when my mind is screaming, "Why? How?"  As a society, we are all having a hard time coming to grips with something that before yesterday was unthinkable.

WHY?

Why do things like school shootings, mall shootings, theater shootings, and murder/suicides continue to happen?
I think they happen because when you take God out of the school, the work place, the government, and the entertainment industry, you take God out of people's daily lives.

Listen to some of the ways God is described in the Bible...

a refuge for the needy in his distress
a shelter from the storm
a source of strength
a stronghold in times of trouble
a father to the fatherless
God of all comfort
God of hope
God of love and peace
God who gives endurance and encouragement
the one who is able to keep you from falling
our shield
strong deliverer
a hiding place

If you take God out of people's lives, you take out all of those things.  Where can people find shelter from the storms in their lives?  Who will be a father to the fatherless?  Where can people hide?  Who will keep them from falling?  How can people live without hope and peace and love?
The answer is, they can't.
They turn on themselves and then they turn on others.

We have made it illegal to post, "Thou shalt not kill," on the walls of our schools.  Why did we think it was a good idea to stop teaching our students to honor their parents, to always tell the truth, to not steal,   to not have sex with someone who is not their spouse, and to be content with what they have? (Exodus ch. 20)  We stopped because those commandments are preceded by ones that say, "You shall have no other gods before me." "You shall not worship idols." "You shall not misuse the name of the Lord your God."  We stopped teaching God's commands because in our society we don't want to have to submit to any authority but our own.  We want to be free to worship football players, playboys, and presidents.  We want to use God's name as a curse instead of a blessing.  We don't want to allow anyone to acknowledge a higher power by praying in public.  We don't want anyone to tell us that pre-marital sex, abusing drugs and alcohol, bending the truth, abortion, pornography, or homosexuality is wrong.  We like doing those things.  We approve of those things.  We promote those things.  But prayer--no way.  A Bible on a teacher's desk--outrageous.  A Christian club meeting on campus--hateful.

HOW?

So how can we prevent something like this from happening again?
I heard one commentator say that we need more guns.  If other people at the school had guns, this wouldn't have happened.  Another person said the answer is fewer guns.  If it was harder to get a gun, this wouldn't have happened.  There are no answers from the media or the government or the 'talking heads' that will solve this problem.  1 Corinthians 3:19 says, the wisdom of this world is foolishness in God's sight... The Lord knows that the thoughts of the wise are futile.

There are two kinds of wisdom described in James chapter 3...

Jealousy and selfishness are not God's kind of wisdom.  Such things are earthly, unspiritual, and demonic.  For wherever there is jealously and selfish ambition, there you will find disorder and evil of every kind.

The wisdom of this world says to look out for yourself.  The wisdom of this world says it's okay to want what other people have.  The wisdom of this world says that if it makes you feel good, it's okay.  The wisdom of this world leads to disorder and evil of every kind.

But there is another kind of wisdom.

But the wisdom from above is first of all pure.  It is also peace loving, gentle at all times, and willing to yield to others.  It is full of mercy and good deeds.  It shows no favoritism and is always sincere.   

But the world says "No" to wisdom from above.  The world says "No" to wisdom that comes from submitting to a higher authority.  The world says "No" to wisdom that would require them to change.  The world clings to the empty life handed down from our ancestors.

It doesn't have to be this way.

God paid a ransom to save you from the empty life you inherited from your ancestors.  and the ransom he paid was not mere gold or silver.  It was the precious blood of Christ, the sinless, spotless Lamb of God. (1 Peter 1:18-19)

We can make a choice to invite God to be our strength, our hope, our peace, and our strong tower by trusting in his wisdom and submitting to his authority.  Or we can continue to push God out of every school, work place, court room, legislature, sports arena, and theater by relying on the wisdom of man and submitting to no authority but our own.

We are Americans and we are free to choose.

Five years

Five years ago today I was holding my daughter while she died.  

I don't want to remember.

I don't want to forget.

It felt like I was in labor. 

Hours and hours of painful waiting.

Holding her in our bed.

My other children coming in to say goodbye.

Kissing her over and over.

Whispering love in her ear.

Crying out to God.

"I can't do this!"

Not believing that it was really happening.

Waiting for a miracle.

Waiting for death.

When it finally came there was sweet release.

It is finished.

Birthed from this life to the next.

For her

Freedom.

Restoration.

Redemption.

For me

Grief.

Loss.

Emptiness.

Learning to live without a part of myself was hard.

Is hard.

Do not focus on what is seen, but on what is unseen.  
What is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal. 
Today I wait with hope.
I press on with perseverance.

I laugh.

I love.

I live.

And I remember.

(2Corinthians 4:18)

                                                              

Blank pages

Wow.  I hadn't realized how long it's been since I posted.  My mom asked me why I hadn't written and I paused and said, "Well, I guess it's because I didn't have anything to say."
The only reason I got on the website today was because I was having people over this morning.
I was having people over so I needed to dust.
Because I was dusting, I put things away.
When I put something on the shelf with the photo albums I saw that the Christmas Memories book was crooked.
When I took it out to straighten it, I opened it up.
When I opened it up I was struck by the fact that 2008, 2009, and 2010 are blank.  Empty.  After someone dies, the holidays become something to get through--not something to remember.
So today I am looking back through my blog entries trying to find something to remember...

2008

Merry Christmas from the Salamys!

The presents have all been unwrapped. Breakfast is in the oven. Audra is playing with her new hamster. Jacob is putting together his guitar stand. Will is playing his electronic drums. Richard is looking for a missing piece to something. All is well.

Yesterday we delivered pumpkin bread to the neighbors. We found out that the husband two doors down is dying. His wife came to our house later to thank us for the card and the verse we had written on it..."May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in Him." (Rom.15:13) I wrote the same verse on every card, but she was the one who needed to hear that yesterday.

Last night after church we met our friends the Webbs at the hospital to deliver presents to the kids on the 10th floor. There was a six year old girl who reminded us of Anna. I helped pick out her gifts because I knew the kinds of things a six year old girl would like. There was a boy who was just diagnosed and admitted yesterday---Christmas Eve---single mom----cancer----can you imagine? 

I am so thankful for the peace in our home today because I know how precious it is. I hope you have a blessed day and MAY THE GOD OF HOPE FILL YOU WITH ALL JOY AND PEACE AS YOU TRUST IN HIM.

 2009 

Christmas is supposed to be a happy time, but it's not always.  I have friends who are celebrating without their loved ones for the first time.  I have friends who may be celebrating their last Christmas with their child.  I have a friend whose father passed away last night.  I have friends who are separated from their husbands.  Maybe Christmas is hard for you too.  Maybe you need to be reminded of the hope that we have because of Christmas.

"I wait for the Lord, my soul waits, and in his word I put my hope.

My soul waits for the Lord more than watchmen wait for the morning,

more than watchmen wait for the morning." (Psalm 130:5-6)

I read words in Revelation this week that filled me with hope and encouraged me to keep pressing on...

"Only hold on to what you have until I come." (Rev 2:25)

"See, I have placed before you an open door that no one can shut.  I know that you have little strength, yet you have kept my word and have not denied my name...(Rev. 3:8)

"I am coming soon.  Hold on to what you have..." (v.11)

As I join the throngs in their Christmas buying frenzy, I aknowledge that I cannot hold on to anything I own.  I cannot hold on to the people I love.  The ONLY thing I can hold on to is the truth that I believe.  I put my hope in His word and I press on to the open door before me THAT NO ONE CAN SHUT!

Wait.

Hold on.

He is coming soon.

Come quickly Lord Jesus. 

2010 

What are you hoping to find underneath the tree this Christmas?  Much more exciting that the gifts you will receive next week, is what the Bible says is in store for those who overcome.  So don't get discouraged by your circumstances today. And don't place your hope in the things of this world. 

"I hope I get an ipad for Christmas." 

"I hope I get married." 

"I hope I have kids." 

"I hope I get better." 

"I hope I get that job." 

"I hope I'll be rich." 

All of those hopes are fleeting and fading.  Timothy Jones says that "We cannot live rightly until we aim past life.  Eternity provides the only goal that makes ultimate sense of our lives."

So make it your goal to overcome.

To him who overcomes, I will give the right to eat from the tree of life, which is in the paradise of God. (Rev. 2:7)

He who overcomes will not be hurt at all by the second death. (v.11)

To him who overcomes, I will give some of the hidden manna.  I will also give him a white stone with a new name written on it, known only to him who receives it. (v.17)

To him who overcomes and does my will to the end, I will give authority over the nations... I will also give him  the morning star. (v.26,28)

He who overcomes will...be dressed in white.  I will never blot out his name from the book of life, but will acknowledge his name before my Father and his angels. (3:5)

Him who overcomes I will make a pillar in the temple of my God.  Never again will he leave it.  I will write on him the name of my God and the name of the city of my God...and I will also write on him my new name. (v.12)

To him who overcomes, I will give the right to sit with me on my throne, just as I overcame and sat down with my Father on his throne. (v.21)

I may or may not get what I want for Christmas.  I may or may not get what I want in this lifetime. 

But someday....

I will eat from the tree of life.

I will not hurt again.

I  will eat the bread of angels.

I will have a new name chosen by my creator.

I will have authority over the nations.

I will have the morning star.

I will be dressed in white.

I will be acknowledged before God and angels.

I will be a pillar in the temple of God and serve in his presence.

WOW!  I don't understand all of that.  It is beyond what I can imagine.   But I do know that I have something greater in store for me than the new winter coat and the Ginger Peach tea that I asked for. 

And you have something greater in store for you too. 

Keep going! 

Don't quit! 

Press on!

Overcome!

I may not remember any of the presents I received  or what we had for Christmas dinner or any of the parties we attended.  But there are things I learned during those years of grief that I hope I never forget.
I want to remember to press on when I feel like giving up.
I want to remember to reach out to those who are worse off than I am.
I want to remember to not get upset over things that don't matter.
I want to remember to be thankful.

Those blank pages in our memory book mean that there is room for new memories.

In everything give thanks

Slapping a sloppy brush of thanksgiving over everything... leaves me deeply thankful for very few things.  

I am often guilty of slapping a sloppy brush of thanksgiving over everything,
"Thank you God for this day.  Thank you God for your blessings.  Thank you for my family and friends. Amen"
Don't get me wrong.  Those are all good things to be thankful for, but do I take the time to notice (and name) the myriad of "little" things I have to be thankful for each day?

The sound of waves

Laughing with my family

Rain

Eating outside

Having enough food for an unexpected dinner guest

Do you struggle with discontentment?  Do you spend more time thinking about the what you want instead of being thankful for what you have?

Gerbera daisies

Chocolate chip cookie dough

Boys playing wiffle ball in the back yard 

Seeing a friend at the store

Being invited

The habit of discontentment can only be driven out by the habit of thanksgiving.

Make thanksgiving a habit.  This year, instead of having your kids make a list of gifts they want for Christmas, have them make a list of gifts they already have.

A full house

Time alone

Moms sharing prayer requests around the table

Someone to sit next to

A late night talk with Jacob

We don't have to change what we see, only the way we see it.

(Quotes from A. Voskamp, "One Thousand Gifts")

Celebrating 3 years in Virginia!

Three years ago this week we left our home, our family, and our dearest friends to move across the country.  It was exciting (I love change), but it wasn't easy.  There were many tears and many fears as we exchanged the familiar for the unknown.  This week we took the time to name some of the things we like about living in Virginia...

Trees
People
Beach
Friends
Weather
Music
Schools
History
Curvy roads
Our house
Carytown
The Byrd Theater
The Goochland Drive-In
The James River
The Daily Grind (Favorite coffee shop)

What do we miss about Oklahoma?

The people
Our trampoline

We loved our 10 years in Oklahoma.  It was the best of times and it was the worst of times--literally.  But the only things that can't be replaced in our new State are our friends and family (and apparently our trampoline).  But fortunately our relationships are also the only things we can carry with us as we move. We are thankful for our old friends, new friends, and the friends we haven't met yet.  We know that someday if we move again, it's the people we will miss... and maybe the drive-in theater.