In everything give thanks

Slapping a sloppy brush of thanksgiving over everything... leaves me deeply thankful for very few things.  

I am often guilty of slapping a sloppy brush of thanksgiving over everything,
"Thank you God for this day.  Thank you God for your blessings.  Thank you for my family and friends. Amen"
Don't get me wrong.  Those are all good things to be thankful for, but do I take the time to notice (and name) the myriad of "little" things I have to be thankful for each day?

The sound of waves

Laughing with my family

Rain

Eating outside

Having enough food for an unexpected dinner guest

Do you struggle with discontentment?  Do you spend more time thinking about the what you want instead of being thankful for what you have?

Gerbera daisies

Chocolate chip cookie dough

Boys playing wiffle ball in the back yard 

Seeing a friend at the store

Being invited

The habit of discontentment can only be driven out by the habit of thanksgiving.

Make thanksgiving a habit.  This year, instead of having your kids make a list of gifts they want for Christmas, have them make a list of gifts they already have.

A full house

Time alone

Moms sharing prayer requests around the table

Someone to sit next to

A late night talk with Jacob

We don't have to change what we see, only the way we see it.

(Quotes from A. Voskamp, "One Thousand Gifts")

Celebrating 3 years in Virginia!

Three years ago this week we left our home, our family, and our dearest friends to move across the country.  It was exciting (I love change), but it wasn't easy.  There were many tears and many fears as we exchanged the familiar for the unknown.  This week we took the time to name some of the things we like about living in Virginia...

Trees
People
Beach
Friends
Weather
Music
Schools
History
Curvy roads
Our house
Carytown
The Byrd Theater
The Goochland Drive-In
The James River
The Daily Grind (Favorite coffee shop)

What do we miss about Oklahoma?

The people
Our trampoline

We loved our 10 years in Oklahoma.  It was the best of times and it was the worst of times--literally.  But the only things that can't be replaced in our new State are our friends and family (and apparently our trampoline).  But fortunately our relationships are also the only things we can carry with us as we move. We are thankful for our old friends, new friends, and the friends we haven't met yet.  We know that someday if we move again, it's the people we will miss... and maybe the drive-in theater.

Special attention

In the 13th chapter of Luke, Jesus tells this story:

A man planted a fig tree in his garden and came again and again to see if there was any fruit on it, but he was always disappointed

I'm assuming that this is referring to God and that He is looking to see if there is fruit in our lives.     He comes again and again to see.  

Finally, he said to his gardener, 'I've waited three years, and there hasn't been a single fig!  Cut it down.  It's just taking up space in the garden.'

When God looks at my life, is he disappointed?  Am I just 'taking up space' or am I bearing fruit?

The gardener answered, 'Sir, give it one more chance.  Leave it another year, and I'll give it special attention and plenty of fertilizer.  If we get (fruit) next year, fine.  If not, then you can cut it down.' (vv. 6-9)

I am picturing a scene where God is fed up with those who are 'taking up space' and Jesus is interceding on their behalf.  Give (them) one more chance.  The gardener promises to give the tree special attention and plenty of fertilizer.  Fertilizer is defined as 'a substance added to increase productivity and growth.'  I am assuming that represents the Word of God.  But what does special attention mean?

I remember when Anna was sick and Richard thought God was giving us too much attention.  He begged God to leave us alone--to stop working on us--to give us a break.  He echoed the words of Job,

What is man that you make so much of him,  that you give him so much attention,  that you examine him every morning and test him every moment?  Will you never look away from me, or let me alone even for an instant? (Job 7:17-19) 

What if 'special attention' involves difficult circumstances.  What if suffering is what makes us better/more useful/deeper/compassionate/wiser?  I can list hundreds of examples of people who have born fruit as a direct result of their suffering.  In my own life, losing a child was the worst thing I could imagine, but even that produced fruit.

No (hardship) discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful.  Later however it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it. (Hebrews 12:11) 

The harvest/fruit is righteousness and peace which is produced by suffering.  I would never choose to suffer.  If you gave me a choice to have Anna or to have righteousness and peace I would choose Anna.  I'm human.  I don't like suffering.  But Jesus said that in this world we would have trials and tribulations.  It's part of life.  It can destroy us or it can be what transforms us from a tree that is taking up space to one that bears fruit.
  
Perhaps you are going through a difficult season in your life.  What if you are receiving 'special attention' from the gardener?  It doesn't feel special.  It's painful.  But just because something is painful doesn't mean that it's bad for us.
What if suffering keeps us from just taking up space?
What if suffering is what makes us fruitful?

We pray for blessings
We pray for peace
Comfort for family, protection while we sleep
We pray for healing, for prosperity
We pray for Your mighty hand to ease our suffering
All the while, You hear each spoken need
Yet love us way too much to give us lesser things

'Cause what if Your blessings come through raindrops
What if Your healing comes through tears
What if a thousand sleepless nights
Are what it takes to know You're near
What if trials of this life are Your mercies in disguise

We pray for wisdom
Your voice to hear
And we cry in anger when we cannot feel You near
We doubt Your goodness, we doubt Your love
As if every promise from Your Word is not enough
All the while, You hear each desperate plea
And long that we have faith to believe

'Cause what if Your blessings come through raindrops
What if Your healing comes through tears
What if a thousand sleepless nights
Are what it takes to know You're near
And what if trials of this life are Your mercies in disguise

When friends betray us
When darkness seems to win
We know that pain reminds this heart
That this is not our home

'Cause what if Your blessings come through raindrops
What if Your healing comes through tears
And what if a thousand sleepless nights
Are what it takes to know You're near
What if my greatest disappointments
Or the achings of this life
Is the revealing of a greater thirst this world can't satisfy
And what if trials of this life
The rain, the storms, the hardest nights
Are Your mercies in disguise
(Blessing, by Laura Story)

Redeem the day

On Anna's birthday I prayed, "Lord, redeem this day."
To redeem means
...to buy back
...to free from what distresses
...to change for the better
...to convert into something of value
...to make worthwhile

I wanted May 29 to be free from distress.  I wanted it changed for the better.  I wanted it converted into something of value.  I wanted it to be made worthwhile.

That morning I listened to the song "Unredeemed".

"When anything that's shattered is laid before the Lord it will not be unredeemed... You never know the miracle the Father has in store.  Just watch and see.  It will not be unredeemed."

I prayed for a miracle.
Because there was no birthday breakfast, I fasted.
I toured the cemetery.
I had lunch at one of Anna's favorite restaurants.
I cooked dinner for the people at the Ronald McDonald House.
I played Anna's High/Low game.

The next day I wrote, What was the miracle?  
There were no big surprises.
There were no moments of great joy.
Perhaps it was a miracle that I didn't stay in bed all day.  Perhaps the miracle was that Jacob told his friends about Anna.  Perhaps God touched the heart of the tour guide when I told him why I was at the cemetery.  Perhaps the miracle happened after we dropped off the food and prayed for the people at the Ronald McDonald House.  Perhaps I can't always see the miracles God is doing.  

"The most beautiful lives are the outcome of anguish and tears [Ian and Larissa Murphy, Nick Vujicic, Lorraine Patterson, Patrice Williams, Jamie Spangler, Joni E. Tada, etc.]... The elevating and perfecting of character come largely through sorrow... I falter sometimes when I try to say, 'It is good for me that I have been afflicted.' [Ps. 119.71] But I can now and then catch a glimpse of the truth of it."                                                    (Mrs. C Cowman, Consolation)

Beauty from ashes.
That's the miracle.

A week in review...

In the last 7 days we...

Remembered Anna on her birthday by taking a tour of Hollywood Cemetery...

While we were on the official tour, we saw my friend Betty's marker.  She wanted to have a one last witness to the people walking by on their way to see the graves of James Monroe and John Tyler.  I didn't know how I would ever find Betty's memorial among the 60,000 people buried in Hollywood, but we walked right by it!

Then we took dinner to our local Ronald McDonald House.

Anna's Mexican Fiesta of course!

We also enjoyed my sister's first visit to Virginia and tried to show her some of the sites.

We gave Asta a haircut.

We celebrated Jacob's birthday (early) with his friends-- 

after dinner at Kuba Kuba and after the tornado warning expired.

I'm guessing there were around 30 kids give or take a few.  Jacob brought his record player downstairs and at one point they were listening to The Sound of Music.  Pretty wild and crazy, huh?

I organized the team party after the final regular season game.  

We are the number one team in the National League going into the playoffs--Go Cubs!

We had a birthday breakfast for Audra and Jacob... and a birthday lunch....and a birthday dinner...

And we said goodbye to our sweet, cuddly bunny.

(This picture was taken a few weeks ago when she was relaxing in Audra's arms.)

Richard found Buttons dead on Sunday morning.  He wanted to wait to tell Audra until after church.  Then he wanted to wait until after lunch.  (Have I mentioned that Richard's parents waited a week to tell him that his dog died when he was a child?)  I was so stressed out by all the waiting.  I was about to burst.  I was fixing lunch when I heard Richard call out, "Marlo, Audra wants to go check on Buttons!"  I didn't know he had been mulling over the best way to break it to her gently.  Without even thinking, I ran into the room, grabbed her and blurted out, "Audra, an owl got Buttons!"  It might not have been the gentlest way, but it was clear.

It has been an emotional  and busy week.  I was hoping that things would settle down after today, but since we still have a birthday sleep-over, the 5th grade party, finals, Audra's play, and the baseball playoffs I guess we will have to wait for summer to relax.

Anna Jane Salamy 5/29/02-11/25/07

As I look back through pictures of Anna I am AMAZED by her smile.  One day I was reading her the book, Alexander and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day.  When we finished, I asked her, "Have you ever had a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day?"  She thought for a minute and said, "No."  I said, "Really? You can't think of one?"

"No."
This child had two liver transplants, multiple surgeries, and more chemo than I can count.  She spent months at a time in the hospital.  She was sick for half of her young life and she couldn't remember a bad day.
She continues to amaze me.
I think it's a terrible day when I have cramps.  I think it's horrible if I have to wait in line too long.  I think it's a no good day when someone doesn't return my phone call.  I think it's a very bad day if the air conditioner breaks down.
I think my daughter was a better person than me.
I know I am a better person because of her.

Lost and found

Will was sick on Monday and Tuesday last week.  On Wednesday he and his friend wanted to play with their ipods, but Will couldn't find his.  I wasn't too worried.  I thought it would turn up, but it didn't.  Not on Wednesday, not on Thursday, not on Friday.  Will was upset.  He had bought the ipod with his own money.  I didn't know where else to look and I didn't want to buy a new one.    On Saturday I wrote in my journal, Lord, please help me find Will's ipod.  You know where it is.  Show me.  Saturday night I woke up in the middle of the night and prayed again, Lord please help me find that ipod.  Show me where it is.  Then the thought came to me,  I should look in my purse.  So what did I do with this divine revelation?   I rolled over and went back to sleep.
The next morning my daily reading "happened" to be the 15th chapter of Luke which "happens" to contain three parables about finding what is lost.  The first parable was about the shepherd who had 99 sheep and went looking for the one that was lost.  He was so happy when he finally found it.

There is more joy in heaven over one lost sinner who repents and returns to God than over ninety-nine others who are righteous and haven't strayed away!  (Luke15:7)

Those words always bothered me.  I thought they were kind of harsh if you are one of the 99 who weren't foolish enough to wander off.
The second parable was about a woman who lost one of her 10 coins and searched the whole house until she found it.  She was so happy that she called her neighbors in to rejoice with her.  (A rather strange reason to have a party.)  When I looked at that parable, I was able to understand that the coin that was lost didn't mean any more to her than the other coins.   They were probably identical.  What set that coin apart and the reason she cared so much, was its lostness.  It's the same with the sheep.  I'm sure those 100 sheep were practically identical.  It didn't matter which one was lost.  The shepherd would have gone after any one of them. There would have been equal rejoicing no matter which sheep or which coin had been lost.
I wrote in my journal,  The rejoicing is great whenever any lost are found.  then I added, (ie. the ipod touch)
Now I know that Jesus did not mean for those parables to apply to lost ipod touches.  I know he was talking about lost people.  But as I prayed again, Help me find that ipod.  Show me where to look,  I was prompted, Get up right now and go look in your purse.  So I got up, went downstairs and looked in my messy purse that I had been carrying around all week and there it was!
After I showed Richard that what was lost was found (Will was still asleep) I wrote in my journal, Thank you Lord for telling me where the ipod was!!! You are the God who sees! (Which is also what Hagar called God in Genesis 16:13).
When Will woke up I was able to show him how God had answered our prayer and we rejoiced together that what was lost was found!