I Will Carry You

"I have made you and I will carry you." (Isaiah 46:4)

What an incredible verse! Don't we all want to be carried sometimes? Aren't we like little children who get tired and long to be swept up in their Father's arms? God says He will carry us. We're not too heavy!

I found a German proverb yesterday in one of my library books. It says "Aller Anfang is schwer, " which means: "Every new beginning is hard." It's true! New beginnings are hard. But, I know from experience that endings are hard too. So if you are in one of those days between a beginning and an end--rejoice! And if you are facing an end, or plodding through a beginning, rest in your Father's arms and let Him carry you.

Selah has a new song called, "I Will Carry You." It was written when the lead singer and his wife were told that the baby girl she was carrying would not survive after birth. The doctors recommended terminating her pregnancy, but the mother said no "I will carry her."

It thrills my soul to think of God saying to me, "I will carry you, while your heart beats here-- long beyond Anna's empty bed, through the coming years. I will carry you all your life."

There were photographs I wanted to take
Things I wanted to show you
Sing sweet lullabies, wipe your teary eyes
Who could love you like this?

People say that I am brave but I’m not
Truth is I’m barely hanging on
But there’s a greater story
Written long before me
Because He loves you like this

So I will carry you
While your heart beats here
Long beyond the empty cradle
Through the coming years
I will carry you
All my life
And I will praise the One Who’s chosen me
To carry you

Such a short time
Such a long road
All this madness
But I know
That the silence
Has brought me to His voice
And He says…

I’ve shown her photographs of time beginning
Walked her through the parted seas
Angel lullabies, no more teary eyes
Who could love her like this?

I will carry you
While your heart beats here
Long beyond the empty cradle
Through the coming years
I will carry you
All your life
And I will praise the One Who’s chosen Me
To carry you

(I Will Carry You, by Todd and Angela Smith)

Finally Reached my Limit

I was the Mystery Reader for Will's class today. At his school they have the parents sign up to read to the class every other week. It is a surprise for the kids because they don't know who is coming. When I walked in, they were all sitting on the floor with their eyes closed. Of course none of them knew me except Will. We had a GREAT time. I loved every minute.

Before I went, I spent all morning trying to find the perfect book. I researched "read aloud books for third grade" on the internet then went to the library. I found several books on my list of possibilities, but the one I really wanted was checked out. They had a copy at a different library so I had to make another trip. Because the first library hadn't checked my books back in, I could only check out one more book before reaching my limit. I found the book I wanted and maxed out my library card--50 books! I guess I need to get the kids their own cards because only 3 of those books are mine.

A New Friend

I sent a note with Will to give to his friend to give to his mom. It's hard to invite someone over when you don't know their phone number, address, or last name. Finally tonight I had a message from new friend's mom saying that her son would love to come play on Saturday. She said I could call her back and then she said, "My phone number is..."BEEP Cut off by the answering machine! Hopefully she will call back tomorrow.

Thank you to those of you who are sending Will cards. I will let him be the one to check the mailbox the next few days :-)

Life's a Beach

We made the first of hopefully many beach trips Saturday. It was quite fun for a bunch of land-locked Oklahomans. At first Audra said that she was going to wait for the waves to die down before she got in. We told her that wasn't going to happen so she plunged right in and loved it. September is a great time to go to the beach if you don't mind a brisk north wind when you get out. Today I am washing the sheets because somehow the sand got in them even after our showers. Audra was still digging sand out of her ear during church yesterday!

Audra turned Jacob into a mermaid!

Will thought it was warmer under the sand.

Audra LOVED the beach!

Will's Special Day

Will's birthday is Saturday. We had a party before we left Oklahoma, but I would like for his "real" birthday to be special as well. I think he would love to get some cards in the mail. If you would like to send one, please email me and I will send you our address. He does have one new friend and I am hoping his mom will trust me enough to let her son come over and play. If not, it will just be the five of us celebrating. Will wants to have a whipped cream pie fight.....hmmm, not sure that's going to happen!

(Yea! I can add pictures now. Scroll down to see more pictures on previous posts.)

The new book covers are here! The new book covers are here!

That title is funny if you have seen the movie "The Jerk". If you haven't, then you probably just think I get excited about every little thing. But the new book covers ARE here. We received two packages of them in the mail yesterday so we should have plenty--and just in time. Audra's science book had to be covered by tomorrow. It is now sporting a sassy new Tinkerbell design. She thinks she might be too old for Tink, but right now she loves fairies. Lucky for her, if she outgrows Tink during the year, we have more bookcovers waiting to be used. Thank you Lauren and Grammy for meeting that need!

Something Bad

I am trying to get the kids to be positive thinkers. I want them to see the good and be thankful rather than just seeing the bad and being critical. This week we have been praying for something good to happen each day at school. On Monday I asked Audra if anything good had happened at school. She said, "No, but something bad happened."

(Oh no, did someone pick on my little girl? Was she shunned by the popular crowd? Did she give a wrong answer and everyone laughed? What????)

"Oh really, what happened?"

"We had PE today and it was hot and we had to play SOCCER!"

If that's the worst thing that has happened I think things are going pretty good.

Lord, open our eyes to see the good in our days and be thankful. Forgive us for focusing on the bad--especially when it's not so bad.

Not Cool

I am not cool. I know it. I tried to be cool in High School. I even managed to hang with the cool crowd, but it was an act. Now, I have a 13 year old son who is very cool. If he is acting, he's doing a fine job. At his old school he bought his lunch everyday because it wasn't cool to bring your lunch from home. At his new school it's just the opposite. This morning he looked at the lunch I packed and said, "Mom, what's the deal with the mini bagel sandwiches?" (I think this is the third time I've made them, but this was the first time he said anything.)

"Oh, I just thought they would be a fun change. Aren't they cute?"

"Mom, didn't you say that you want me to make some guy friends?" (Jacob has a tendency to attract girl friends.)

"Oh, I didn't think about that. What would be a cool lunch?"

"A peanut butter sandwich and a coke."

So from now on, I will try to be cool. It sounds like cool lunches are easier to make anyway.

Feeling Regular

Audra came home the other day and said that she felt regular at her new school. At her old school she felt special. Everyone knew her. They knew she was smart, artistic, responsible, and a good singer and actress. They knew her parents. They knew her brothers. They knew she had a sister who died. She had a reputation. No one at the new school knows anything about her. Starting over can be a good thing, but it can also be a hard thing. We are all feeling a little regular right now. We want to fast forward to when we are no longer the "new girl", the "new guy", or the "visitor."

There have been many times in my life I have wanted to fast forward to better days. Unfortunately/fortunately we can only live one day at a time. But while we are living through those not-so-fun days we have the incredible gift of looking forward with great expectation to what is to come--in this life and especially in the next.

Heaven is...

I was tempted to post this song on my "other" blog since it's about Anna, but Anna is in my thoughts today. She is not just part of my past.

She is a part of who I am.

So as I listen to this song I weep.... I hope.... I look forward to what is to come.

This song was written by Steven Curtis Chapman about his little girl Maria who was also 5 when she died last year. Please note that these are not all the original words. I changed a few to fit our girl.

Heaven is the face of a little girl
With (big blue) eyes
That (sparkle) when she smiles.
Heaven is the place
Where she calls my name
Says, “(Mommy) please come play with me for awhile.”

God, I know, it’s all of this and so much more,
But God, You know, that this is what I’m aching for.
God, you know, I just can’t see beyond the door.
So right now...

Heaven is the sound of her breathing deep,
Lying on my chest, falling fast asleep while I (pray).
And Heaven is the weight of her in my arms,
Being there to keep her safe from harm while she dreams

And God, I know, it’s all of this and so much more,
But God, You know, that this is what I’m longing for
God, you know, I just can’t see beyond the door.

But in my mind’s eye I can see a place
Where Your glory fills every empty space.
All the cancer is gone,
Every mouth is fed,
And there’s no one left in the orphans’ bed.
Every lonely heart finds their one true love,
And there’s no more goodbye,
And no more not enough,
And there’s no more enemy.

Heaven is a sweet, maple syrup kiss
And a thousand other little things I miss with her gone.
Heaven is the place where she takes my hand
And leads me to You,
And we both run into Your arms.

Oh God, I know, it’s so much more than I can dream.
It’s far beyond anything I can conceive.
So God, You know, I’m trusting You until I see
Heaven in the face of my little girl,
Heaven in the face of my little girl.

Virginia is for Book Covers

My name is Marlo. I am 42 years old and I have NEVER put a book cover on a book. Apparently Virginians like to protect their textbooks. Book covers were on the supply list. I tried to buy nice cloth ones, but they didn't fit. Then I tried to buy paper ones, but the school supplies had already been replaced by Halloween supplies. Poor Will keeps bringing his books home for me to put covers on. They are HEAVY and our bus stop is 1/4 mile from our condo! Last night I got desperate and IRONED a paper sack and followed the directions on the internet to cover one of his books. Then Jacob got home and said that he had to cover his book too. Yikes! So I bought some wrapping paper. Now Jacob's book is wrapped up in bright red paper. It took me forever! I know that tonight, Will will bring the rest of his books home for me to wrap. Maybe with practice I will get better.

Bus Failures

After missing Audra and Will's bus the first two days of school, I have given up. It comes at 7:05am! We are the first stop on the first run. Which means that after our bus drops of the first group of kids it goes back out for a second group. I have added a new requirement for our new house--a second run bus stop!